Professor Oscar

Well, you know how interested I am in life-work balance!  I’m already quite skilled with the art of resting.  My skill at perching on the back of every couch and on the window ledges throughout the house, on the edges of desk and side table and bookcase – even on the highest spots I can reach in the house.

 

Anyway, wanted to share with you all what I’ve managed to teach her during this semester.  As a student, she has proven to be one of my great accomplishments.  She is rather set in her thinking and ways.  But then I am THE professor and she had no chance really once I turned on my powers of persuasion and demonstrated the effectiveness of my pretty little claws!

Scritching 101+

First I taught her how to scritch my cheeks with both hands, so she was unable to focus on anything else and my ecstasy was delved deeply into for up to ten minutes, which, sadly is the limit of her ability to concentrate on pleasing me in this way. 
 

Then I taught her that when I want to sit in her lap, she must stop everything, including that silly tap tapping on her many keys to focus only on me again.  If she is wearing those short clothes, she must keep a pillow case at hand always to put quickly over her legs. 

 

Finally she must let me take whatever time I deem necessary to test her patience, by turning around and around until I find just the right spot to settle. 

And if I am not entirely satisfied or see movement out the window or hear noises down the dark stairs, I may jump right up and leave her wondering what I am on about.  How I love to watch her surprised face under these conditions!

Like Chocolate

Also, when she is tired and ready to watch TV, she must always remember to keep the pillow case at hand so she can put it on her legs as I hop up onto the back of the couch to startle her and then slowly and gracefully step onto the pillowcase already in place for me! 

There I sit and if she is really fortunate and manages to stroke me just so, I reward her with a hearty session of purring.  You could think purring is like chocolate for her!  So easily manipulated!

Fresh Air Exercise

I’ve taught her to leave many windows open, although she still thwarts me by keeping them open only enough for me to sniff the beautiful, free and fresh air...as I dream of lazing about on that green stuff that covers the yard below.

I’ve taught her to brush me and stop when my paw touches her hand and I get THAT look in my eyes that says, if you move one more millimetre, I will scratch you beyond an inch of your life!

Night Classes, Too!

She has learned to place a very nice soft, flannel sheet on the end of her bed so I can cuddle into it and I think she is happy that it keeps me sometimes in one place). 

Oh and she never gets up from her chair at her desk that I do not claim this prized seat!  It is so cute to watch her try to move me without disturbing my rest.

 

But she has also learned that I love to roam around her as she sleeps and rest in various spots next to her body, such as in the crook of her knees or in her arms – she is such a good cuddler and never misses an opportunity to scritch me - and in such a professional manner, I can only imagine you have left the best of instruction behind!

Diet & Health

I did refuse to eat the food she offered me recently!  Certainly she could not expect me to eat without being fussy!  So I made her go to the local Woolies and exchange some of these silly flavours for my favourite.  Otherwise I would just keep being pernickety and was close to missing the box again.

Hide & Seek!

My greatest training endeavour however, will surprise you, especially you Miglio...she has FINALLY learned to play tag and hide and seek!  She was so slow in realising this was what I intended for her to do and you would have thought it was a difficult as jumping through hoops! 

 

But just this past weekend, I got that gleam in my eye and stomped my paws at her and made her start running around and hiding behind doors.  It has made her so happy to finally GET with the program.  But this special game can only be played when I say so, though she has continued to try to encourage me.  (/me rolls my eyes!).

 

All in all, I am getting her in shape, but sense she is growing a bit sad for some reason. 

For me, I am just wondering when you will come and get me and give me a proper pet!  I know she will eventually get it and I have been more than patient and gracious with her clumsy efforts.  Yet there is no one like you and Miglio!

Oscar and the Can't-Help-Its

You know it has been HOT here and I am getting tired of laying around and complaining.  What am I to do and she can't seem to change the heat either and is doing a fair bit of laying around complaining about the heat too.  But I have found a few ways to beat the heat!

But she also tells me we are rather lucky not to live in that heart-shaped part of this land, called Tasmania, as they are dealing with raging bush fires.  Here we have a little smoke that my ultra-sensitive feline nose can detect each morning in the early hours, but no fire near us at all.

Can't-Help-Its Morning Wander

I have the "Can't-Help-Its".  This is sort of like "Man Flu" but worse.  I walk from my special pink mat on the end of her bed into her closet and sniff around.  Then I walk out switching my tail.

I saunter into the bathroom and inspect the cleanliness of my box to make sure she is keeping up with me - and so far she would surprise you! 

NOTE on Lavender

She also tricked me into using those unacceptable LAVENDER scented crystals!  She MIXED them with the ones I like.  She is maddening at how she tries to thwart me.  To punish her, I held it in half a day, just to make her worry where I might go...but eventually had to give in.  Oh I HATE to lose a little skirmish like this!

Anyway, I digress.  After I inspect the standards of the bathroom, I waltz down the long hall and into the girls' bathroom, where I rarely find anything of interest other than an occasional pair of flip-flops. 

Watching Tea Bags

If she is fixing her tea, however, I love sitting right in front of the refrigerator door.  She is always so reluctant to make me move and I just smile sweetly at her, just like that famous Cheshire Cat in that movie!  Eventually I do move or she might complain.

On to the lounge room, where I do a quick reconnoiter and check to ensure if she has somehow forgotten how much to open the windows there...just in case I can pretend I am going to sneak out.  That REALLY gets her all excited and it is SO amusing!

Squirting My Fun Away!

But my best trick then is to jump onto the little table at the staircase to that mystery area down the stairs that I have only been able to get into a couple of times and I sniff around this dumb barrier she has erected against my explorations and she goes nutty. 

However, she found a squirt bottle and gives me a little spritz of water if I persist, so I only fiddle around there until I see her face grow red!

MY Office

Then I stroll into her office.  I have had her lay out my wonderful striped towel at the one window on her desk, and a pillowcase on the desk return.  I settle typically into my favourite spot in a tall window from which I may survey all my kingdom without moving.  It is bliss to have a gentle breeze flowing the underparts of my body -- well unless it is hot. 

Then I jump down when I am about settled and let out with one of my most pathetic mews to see if she is paying attention -- she does try to type all the time and ignore me, which I will never allow.

Once she is distracted and gently cooing to me...I give her THAT look and she knows to put that pillowcase in her lap so I can sit there and keep her from typing until I am satisfied her train of thought is interrupted and I am fully stroked and scritched.  She does have the longest nails and a great technique!

What's Wrong?

"What is wrong," you plead.  Well what is wrong is that neither of you are here with me.  How am I supposed to live my life without you two.

...oh where is she with that chicken I asked her to prepare!

Anyway, I hope YOU are enjoying your holiday...she is doing what she can to indulge me, but it is you two who I have twisted around my little kitty paw!

Heat Wave for Oscar

You would not believe that it is 44 C here today!  So I'm having a very lazy day dreaming of world domination again, but you would be used to that.

I'm shedding everywhere and she is saving all my hair to make me a soft cushion.  Quite thoughtful actually considering how much time I take to pamper her and sit in her lap....which, just between you and me is too small! 

Really it is so difficult to get her to just sit still enough and get this pretty purple and white pillowcase on her lap so I can balance.  But she seems to enjoy the challenges.

Because it's so hot today I have been both sleepy and grumpy because I miss sitting in all my favourite windows.  She also found a way, FINALLY, to block off the downstairs completely now and it seems to be keeping it cooler up here!

I posed for the neatest shot with me sitting on a bunch of pillows with a dog (oh don't worry, it was not a real one or it was VERY nervous) sandwitched between them.  What a coward that dog was!  But then it is me, Oscar!

I miss you both so much, but am getting her trained rather well now and as soon as she can figure out what setting she changed preventing her from uploading these cute pictures of me, I will get her to put them up right away for your pleasure. 

Quick Update from Oscar the Magnificent

Well did you realise that the way Europe and Australia market and sell Internet time is vastly different?  Yes, yes, I know you didn't realise that I was so technically savvy, but really it is 2013 now and I have to stay up-to-date on so much!

This lady I'm staying with was beside herself to discover that her three friends from France had used up five times the amount of Gigabytes in the month that she would use...and that she completely ran out.

Actually, she never realised how many hours of Internet time I was using to talk with my other Cat friends!  I would wait till she was completely asleep and then sneak out of her bedroom and fire up this machine, talking on Skype and well I do love my movies! 

More Attention!

But most of all, I wanted more of her time!  She can be rather easy to manipulate and because she has such well cared for fingernails, I am in Cat heaven with all the scratching I get her to do.  She does complain a little of the soft hairs I surrender to her grooming, but she will get over it and it gives her something to do.

One morning however, ten days ago now, I believe, she slipped in the kitchen on some water and her face turned white and she stopped moving all together.  I waited and watched closely to try to understand what was wrong.  Eventually she moved and took a long time to get up the stairs.  I can bound up them in about 4.3 seconds!

        ( Here is my belated Christmas wish for you two.  See above for reason of delay.) 

Cat Heaven

From then on till yesterday, she stayed on the couch catching up with recorded movies and segments of series she has never had time to watch.  Best of all I kept her warm and entertained by sitting on her and purring at every possible moment.  It was simply great!

But I wanted you and Miglio to know that as hard as she tries, she will NEVER be able to satisfy me as I require.  It has taken me a lifetime to get you two trained and she is only a novice...but doing reasonably well responding to my every mew!

Miss me...as I miss you, Oscar the Magnificent (and part-time nurse)