Quick Update from Oscar the Magnificent

Well did you realise that the way Europe and Australia market and sell Internet time is vastly different?  Yes, yes, I know you didn't realise that I was so technically savvy, but really it is 2013 now and I have to stay up-to-date on so much!

This lady I'm staying with was beside herself to discover that her three friends from France had used up five times the amount of Gigabytes in the month that she would use...and that she completely ran out.

Actually, she never realised how many hours of Internet time I was using to talk with my other Cat friends!  I would wait till she was completely asleep and then sneak out of her bedroom and fire up this machine, talking on Skype and well I do love my movies! 

More Attention!

But most of all, I wanted more of her time!  She can be rather easy to manipulate and because she has such well cared for fingernails, I am in Cat heaven with all the scratching I get her to do.  She does complain a little of the soft hairs I surrender to her grooming, but she will get over it and it gives her something to do.

One morning however, ten days ago now, I believe, she slipped in the kitchen on some water and her face turned white and she stopped moving all together.  I waited and watched closely to try to understand what was wrong.  Eventually she moved and took a long time to get up the stairs.  I can bound up them in about 4.3 seconds!

        ( Here is my belated Christmas wish for you two.  See above for reason of delay.) 

Cat Heaven

From then on till yesterday, she stayed on the couch catching up with recorded movies and segments of series she has never had time to watch.  Best of all I kept her warm and entertained by sitting on her and purring at every possible moment.  It was simply great!

But I wanted you and Miglio to know that as hard as she tries, she will NEVER be able to satisfy me as I require.  It has taken me a lifetime to get you two trained and she is only a novice...but doing reasonably well responding to my every mew!

Miss me...as I miss you, Oscar the Magnificent (and part-time nurse)

Oscar, the Defender!

Thrusting and poking and swatting and parrying; sweat pouring down my brow, the invader battled relentlessly but I would never give up as long as "Fancy Feast Carved Beef" coursed through my body!  

Another swat, another prodding with my deadly claws and it writhed on the tiles at my feet, bested but not dead yet.  This brown enemy flailed its hairy legs at me as if to offer surrender, but I was ruthless patting it hard this time, my claws digging into the air around it, my tail flicking to punctuate my determination!

And then in She walked, trying to see what I was up to and when She saw it, it was as if She was afraid it would hurt ME.  

ME, the mighty Defender Cat who gave no mercy when confronted by an enemy!  

She gently moved me away from my prisoner to a safe distance and looked at it with that “yukky horror” look that humans get; picked up the plastic bottle of her fragrant, coconut shower gel and squashed the stuffings out of this flying menace, muttering something about how keeping the windows open without screens was the worst idea ever!

Torture Interrupted

I was offended that she didn't let me torture my prisoner more, but her care of me seemed to drive her to take counter measures to her typical spraying of tons of bug spray.  

She just knew I have sensitive allergies and would be put out with such un-environmentally-friendly ways of handling such a crisis! 

Anyway, just so you never imagine I let this creature endanger her, I defended her to within an inch of one of my nine lives.  ((Well a kitty can dream can’t he?))

PS:  I also managed to let her sleep just a little more last night, but was SOOOOO excited by my victory last night that I had to celebrate with gusto starting at about 4:10 AM.  You should have seen her squirm!

Otherwise, it's been a remarkably easy and leisurely day with her going out to have a Christmas lunch with a friend at the Queen Victoria Building and getting her cell phone fixed (she needs to be at my beck and call...but then I don't have a cell phone with me, because you forgot to pack mine!)

Hope it is snowing and that you are slipping and sliding around in all that slushy stuff and that you will throw a few snowballs at each other in the name of the mighty DEFENDER CAT!!

From Oscar, the Imperial Cat

Dear Sabine & Miglio,

 

I have to say first of all that I hope you’re having fun and...I miss you (don't EVER say I told you that). 

This is a very big place you’ve left me in.  Although I am not officially allowed downstairs yet, of course. I DID sneak down once and got caught!  The concern in that lady’s eyes was enough to show her just how quickly I can bound up the stairs, all 20 of them!

I was not too happy the first two days and slept most of the time.  I found this neat, quiet and dark place right under the middle of her bed.  It’s sort of cute, she comes and lays down on the floor and talks to me to encourage me to exercise.  As IF I am going to do anything anyone tells me to do, particularly exercise!

Food, Water & em.....Necessities

She has fed me my favourite food and I think I may be learning to like chicken!  That is rather novel, but it’s salty and I seem to be craving salt and drink lots of water.  And yes, I’m giving my litter box a good work out. 

 

Well, I could not figure out how to do the solid stuff inside the box and because I was upset from missing you so much I fear she has had to take extra care for me.  But she cleverly moved the litter box into her shower and I have my own private bathroom with the luxury of heaps of space and have no trouble with my ...aim now!

Her Mistake

She, however, really made a mistake.  She changed the litter crystals! 

 

Can you BELIEVE it!  I do not know where those lavender smelling crystals came from, but I will not use them!  I would have burst had she not gotten smart and removed them and put in the remainder of the correct ones. 

 

I have no idea what she was thinking...lavender, get real!  I do not like lavender anything...just because I am de-sexed does not mean I am fem!  She bought me more of the correct crystals today though as there was not going to be enough for my stay.

Sitting Options

She has many special places for me to sit and survey my world also.  See these two snapshots I’ve attached?  Here are two of my favourite perches so far. 

 

 

 

One is in her office window and the other is on her small side desk. 

 

 

 

She seems to like petting me and I am training her to do this every time I wander near her.  Thank goodness she has nice long finger nails as she really knows how to scratch my cheeks to send me into oblivion!

Night Fancies

I have a confession to make Sabine.  And do not get angry with me.  I just can’t resist staying up all night and keeping her awake!  She is so funny.  She coos and pets me and tries to encourage me to rest, but I LOVE keeping her awake.  I have a new world’s record of nearly five nights without real restful sleep. 

 

Today, she closed me in her room (where my good and litter box are, plus all the softest places for me to rest) and snuck a nap without me in her office!  Just wait till this evening.  No matter how she tries to keep me awake today, I will still find a way to keep her up...it really is my only fun, since I’ve gone off all my toys for now, just to confound her efforts there too.

Anyway, had to let you know what I was up to, as I know you will be worrying about me.  But actually she is doing alright.  She is NOT you!  You, I have trained to be the best carer in the Cat World.  This one needs lots of training and I know I will get my way with her eventually.  First is sleep deprivation and then the master plan to dominate her completely!

Rest easy and be sure to bring me a treat or two...but never bring me lavender-scented litter box crystals!  Oscar, the Imperial Cat